Hey U Guys

Ridley Scott is making a movie based on the board game Monopoly.

No... really.

Following my post on the wonder that is Clue my mind wandered to what other movies could come from board games.

Some are well suited to being adapted, others are less so.Trivial Pursuit in the style of a classic comedy caper featuring an all-star cast would have legs, Buckaroo on the other hand should be shot.

I've picked out a few at random and have written a suitable treatment for each below.

So, would you pay to see Spielberg take on Mouse Trap? Or Tom Cruise race the Domino Rally? Would you want to watch Judi Dench and Seth Rogen suffer the wrath of the Hungry, Hungry Hippos?

You would? Read on....

Guess Who?

Gunned down by a mystery assailiant the beauty queen Legs Maneuvre whispers an enigamtic code word 'Theora' to the paramedics before dying. This code word leads detectives to uncover a network of shadow assassins, 24 names, 24 faces. 24 hours to crack the case. It could be any of them - but only one shot Legs to death in the face.

Recently bereaved widow and crack detective Alexa Christopher throws herself into the case, and quickly gets reults. Trace DNA confirms the assailant is male. That's 12 faces wiped off the board instantly. 12 innocent faces, 12 guilty as hell. As the mystery assassin strikes two more times Alexa (Naomi Watts) scouts the crime scene and discovers an ivory beard comb at one and a bloodied glasses case at the other. More faces are eliminated,narrowing down her list of suspects with every kill.

Suddenly she is pulled off the case as the Chief (Ving Rhames) claims she's getting too close, trying to avenge her husband's death by busting this guy's face open. Bristling with conflicting emotions, her skin and face searing with hot pain Alexa must find a way to eliminate every possible assassin and face the murderÄr once and for all in the ultimate game of deducation and skill. For kids.

Legs Manoevre will be played by Molly Ringwald.

Battleship!

Rutger Hauer plays Dimitri Holdemov, a German convict masquerading as a Russian submarine captain escaping from Polish prison. Harrison Ford is Mitch Gutt, a grizzled vetern of the sea, halued out of retirement for one last underwater criminal apprehension, he takes the helm of the USStealth Sub Patroitia, Their chase through the murky depths of the ocean is halted by a series of sudden international sea treaties put in place by the goddamn bureaucrats in the UN, and a trade disagreement grounds all ships. This throws a dividing line seperating the Patrotia and the Russain sub Destroyska and a tense stand off begins. Holdemov goes slowly mad. Gutt grows more determined. Unable to run and unable to chase the two opposing sub fleets surface and begin a game of nuclear tag which may sink us all. Dive! Dive! Die!

The Family Chess

The grand saga of a family riding the wave of industrial revolution and ruin in Nineteenth century England. Split in two factions by the villianous twins Rook and Knight, this saga of familial manouevre and social penetration sprawls across an entire century. Opposing the dark machinations of Rook and Knight the ostracised family members work together to bring down their carfully constructed plan of attack. The resulting battle, played out in the courts and parlours of society's finest examples and more degraded victims. its consequences rip through the patchwork of the English countryside, and will have reverbarations for generations of The Family Chess. And for us all.

Stars Peter Weller as Verheoven Chess, the dark patriarch - 'Your move, creep.'

Christian Bale as the villianous Rook - 'I've taken your Bishop! He and I are done. Professionally.'

Colin Farrell as Knight - 'You are ALL pawns in my game. A-ha ha ha ha! A-ha ha ha ha!'

Connect 4

In an unnamed and therefore fictional Latin American country a political vaccuum appears as the warlord of the region explodes in a gross misunderstanding of the rules of tennis. Eager to fill this vaccuum two political paties emerge, one a band of close harmony communists vying for power against the Cowards Liberation Army . Social Radicalist and Tenor Xan McFist (Chris Rock) faces off against his CLA rival, the voluptuous virago Misty Tush-Arbor (Chris Rock in a wig), and a vicious turf war is enacted. Local governmetns are installed and overthrown, rich businessmen pledge their allegience to the Reds or the Yellows, large pockets of support begin to build up in the disturbed locale, while protection rackets and militias for hire roam the streets looking for bribes.

Huge networking power structures are slowly built up and overseen by McFist and Tush-Arboar. Lives are ruined, dreams shattered and hopes are covered in tar and pushed over a cliff in a barrell. Nothing is scared to these two political factions, each building their power base up to win, each searching for the magical Four-in-a-row network, guranteeing policital success. Election day is called and in the end one side will dominate but as the votes are counted it becomes clear that the fabric of power has been distorted and ruined and the only way to restore public trust is to bring down the system, and start again. And who better for the job than the mastermind behind both parties, playing them off against each other, leader of the revolution and hero of the people, Moltar Nnhash-Al-Bion (Chris Rock). A hard hitting political pummeling, a searing indictment of innocent lives lived under constant threat of a soiled democracy. With Chris Rock.

Monopoly

Roll the dice, make your play, take a chance...with death.

Paul Bettany and Simon Callow are the famous Twain and Sons, a father and son habedashers in London's glorious Mayfair. They celebrate their success in winning the contract to make the Queen's socks with a trip to the West End. In high spirits they are lured to a dive bar in darkest Chinatown and are there joined by a mysterious blonde, Community Chest, who plies them with copiuous amounts of white russians laces with dark rum. In their jubliation the father and son team slowly drift into unconciousness to the rousing chorus of cheers from well wishers.

Waking the next morning on a wall in the Old Kent Road Bettany's Clift Twain has no memory of how he arrived there. His phone rings and he hears a mysterious blonde voice ordering him to Whitechapel. Unsure as to his motive the blonde voice, revealed to be that of Miss C.Chest, sends a picture to the phone of his father tied to a huge iron over an enormous ironing board. with the message Somewhere, In London....

Thus begins the journey of Clift Twain to rescue his father, arriving at Whitechapel to find a man willing to be bribed into revealing the location on the Angel in Islington, Twain arrives there to find another clue and so on. It is a heart stopping journey of discovery and deceit through the treachours streets of London, as Clint races to save his father and somehow scrape together the £200 ransom money.

David Fincher's Snakes and Ladders

Shock and Horror on The Stock Exchange! The oldest Bank in Britian AVBBI  suffers an extremely hostile takeover and the offices and corridors become battlegrounds for new and old staff. Determined to secure the most influential positions the seditious new board sack the CEO and demote his board members to the lower floors. Turmoil! Outrage! Yikes!

Enter Emily Farley, a plucky young banker with a string of unsuccessful relationships and lacklustre jobs behind her, determined to make a fresh start in AVBBI. On her first day she is singled out by the new order as a beacon of new blood in the organisation. Invited to lunch by the new CEO she climbs the coropoate ladder extremley fast, she is offered a string of new jobs and positions. Only when her competitors start to disappear in the most mysterious of circumstance does she begin to suspect all is not quite right. Teaming up with a young ex-board member and current security guard Emily spies on a late night board meeting and discovers to her horror that the new owners of AVBBI are an alien conglomerate planning the Earth's destruction. When they are alone the Board members rip off their human masks to reveal serpetine features and slither and snarl as they plot to downsize the human race, with no chance of an outplacement programme.

Emily must use her childhood kung fu training to overcome the hordes of corporate snakes and take back the financial reins from these evil bad aliens. Emily and Security Guy must kick outside the box to save themselves and the world.

The ultimate Credit Crunch! The ultimate game of Tower Defence! Work is a game, whose rules have just been changed.

With Will Ferrel and Andie MacDowell.

Right, your go.